The initial stages of childhood years are important because it is in those years we see a sudden alteration in their brain. It forms complex network connections at the fastest rate. This formation process is known as Myelination. Myelination is completed up to 80% by the age of four. This means that eight-tenth of an adult brain is completed at the age of four.
Many popular scientists have stated that the human subconscious is responsible for about 95% of our character. Subconscious programming takes place from birth to six years.
Since the brain is responsible for almost everything we think, say, and do, the child should be given proper care with regard to their brain development. it is going to inevitably have an impact on their brain development causing an underdeveloped emotional network.
The development traits of childhood brain and personality characteristics are dependent on each other. Only if the child is properly nourished in regards to their brain development in their early stage, would they show good personality traits in their adulthood life.
Peg Streep, a New York City-based psychologist, explains the relationship between early childhood and adult life:
“While it’s true that everyone’s childhood experience is different … there are nonetheless broad and reliable statements which can be made about the effect of (childhood) experiences. They are invaluable in understanding how your childhood shaped your personality and behaviors.”
What are the signs shown by a person who was unloved and neglected during childhood?
Seven signs are given below:
1. Lack of trust
The child must feel safe. When they are in some kind of problem, you have to be steady and give them the assurance that you have their backs! It develops their sense of trust in a person.
Without giving them proper nurture to build up their trust in you and not being there for them when they need you, will result in the underdeveloped emotional connection system. By the time they become an adult, it’s going to be hard for them to have a relationship due to trust issues.
2. Poor emotional intelligence
A child must be guided and listened to when they express their distresses or emotions. Be very alert and have a keen eye on their way of communication. They are still little and they don’t understand how to express themselves properly. But they would use dyadic communications such as words or gestures.
With your proper nurture and love, the child will be able to develop communication skills by articulating their feelings, managing their fears, understanding negative emotions and developing resilience.
Without the skill to correctly interpret their emotional states, the child may never develop an essential life quality: emotional intelligence.
3. Fear of failure
Sadly, the children who grow in a very neglectful environment will automatically have a negative impact on their self-esteem. They will lose the feeling of self-worth. They will think about themselves as a failure. They would become intelligent adults, but because of the neglected upbringing, it will result in making them not live up to their true potential.
However, an environment where their parents love and encourage them, will develop a healthy sense of self-worth. They will develop confidence in themselves and fortitude.
4. Toxic relationships
The human brain learns primarily through association and pattern recognition. In psychology and cognitive neuroscience, pattern recognition is “a cognitive process that matches information from a stimulus (the outside world) with information retrieved from memory.”
Hence, the unloved child will only seek out the familiar; namely, toxic people.
5. Insecurity and attachment
Some mental health experts say that a child that’s in an unhealthy family will counteract the negativity once being switched to an encouraging environment.
But then again, the kid would think, if their own parents do not love and nourish them, how can they rely on someone else?
6. Depression and anxiety
Obviously, unloved children will often battle mental health issues. They often are caused due to being neglected, and the above-cited backgrounds. If the child doesn’t receive proper TLC, the chances of an adult developing both depression and anxiety are without a doubt going to destroy their self-worth.
“Don’t take it personally”, “Stop being so sensitive” NEVER SAY THIS! NEVER!
Take this solid advice, know that some adults had the misfortune of growing up in an unloved home. The more you say this, their past is going to go against the grain of their mentality.
The more people, I mean, abusers, use these phrases to belittle the other, that person will have an intense fear of rejection – a byproduct of feeling insignificant and unloved.
Please take these pieces of advice!
In an article named “Early Childhood Love And Nurturing,” written by three prominent child psychologists, the experts provide the following advice:
– Make it a priority to demonstrate love and affection for your children every day.
– Give words of praise when earned (through chores, academic achievements, etc.)
– Showing a positive outlook and exhibiting emotional maturity (calmness, patience, etc.) creates a peaceful environment for children.
– As a parent or caregiver, feeling “consistently grouchy, irritable, negative, or sad” may hinder a child’s development.
– It is necessary “to get assistance … (through) a support system for encouragement and assistance.”
I have been in love with writing ever since I was a kid. This led me to study English literature for my higher education. I am also an LLB(Law) graduate. I am always curious about happenings in the world. It could be anything and everything. Curiosity to explore and learn new things made me a content writer. I’m focused on improving my writing skills and increasing my passion for knowledge. Aside from being a total bookworm, I love to dance, I do Tiktok, the list goes on!
Here’s a little sneak peek into my personal life. I’m a single mother, and I have a beautiful baby girl. My life would never have been better without her.